Work-Life Guide for Crazy Busy Moms

This is a test post based on being underwhelmed by blogger. My guess is more people will find and comment on this post in wordpress vs. the exact same thing on our main blog on blogger.

This week I attended the BlogHerDC conference. It was awesome and some of the takeaways can be found in our insider’s blog. At the conference, I met Heather Chapman who writes the blog: “The Mother Tongue.”

Heather: Do you have kids?

Me: Yeah. Two. 5 and 2.

Heather: Mine are 4 and 1. Any antics there I should know about?

Me: We didn’t leave my son alone with my daughter for the first year of her life.

Heather: That’s probably wise.

Me: A common saying around our house is “No clothes-lining!”

Heather: [Laughing]

Me: Maxwell will run up with his arm out, careen into my daughter, and flip her right over backwards.

Heather: People need to know this. You should write about it on your blog.

Me: But, aren’t there enough Moms writing about crazy kid stuff?

Heather: I think it makes moms feel good to know that other people have crazy lives.

Me: Really?

Heather: Yeah.

So – inspired by Heather: The totally NOT women’s leadership oriented blog post about a typical crazy day in my life. I am not really sure what people can learn from this, but, here goes:

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To follow along you will need:
1. A lofty goal
2. A box of Teddy Grahams
3. SPANX
4. A wrinkled piece of clothing
5. A plant (or other life form)
6. A good sense of humor

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1. A lofty goal. Here is how the day of October 13, 2008 started: I prepared to go to the BlogHerDC conference to promote the launch of the Hot Mommas Project case study competition. Here was my lofty goal on this particular day: Get out the door and go to this conference. In my robe, after being woken up by various little people, I make the error of just “real quick” logging in and seeing if the Hot Mommas Project sign-in process works.

Frequently asked question: Will I need an alarm clock for this step?
No. You will not, I repeat NOT, be needing an alarm clock. Little people will wake you up at something beginning with a “5”.

2. A box of Teddy Grahams. Checking the Hot Mommas Project site”real quick” turned into – hmmm – about 1.5 hours. I utilize a box of Teddy Grahams to subdue one of the two loud, feisty little people that live in my house during this time.

FAQs: Is there a certain preferred flavor of Teddy Graham? Is there a certain time of day the Teddy Grahams should be served?
Unquestionably, Chocolate Teddy Grahams are preferred. Bonus points are issued if the Teddy Grahams are served at a completely inappropriate time. Example: Here is Lilah eating Teddy Grahams…for breakfast…on the floor of my bedroom.

3. SPANX. Despite the extreme delays I face due to the “real quick” Hot Mommas Project login test, I spend a good 12 minutes searching for my SPANX upon which I have developed a clinically-diagnosable dependence.

Frequently Asked Question: Could I search aimlessly for a DIFFERENT item (other than SPANX?).
Certainly. Car keys, blackberry, or another item are acceptable replacements.

Pictured here is a 2 week-old pile of clean laundry in which the SPANX were ultimately uncovered.

4. A wrinkled piece of clothing. As I was on “Mission Critical” finding my SPANX, I made an unfortunate discovery balled up in the laundry bin: The shirt I intended to wear to the conference. It was embarrassingly wrinkled. Ironing was clearly out of the question, since I had taken a sacred vow of no-ironing.

Frequently asked question: Is it possible to wear a different NON-WRINKLED piece of clothing thus adhering to the sacred vow of no-ironing?
I will not even dignify that question with a response. Clearly, you are at the wrong place my friend. For non-wrinkled clothes wearers and prepared, organized moms please click here or here. Students click here.

Pictured here is said wrinkled shirt which is under attack by my daughter Lilah “the picker” Frey.

5. A plant (or other life form). In preparing the Hot Mommas Project case competition launch I had been neglecting myself for sometime. For some, personal care is a regular, steady routine. For me, it was a distant dream. Today was no exception!

Here are the ferns that have died by my hand. Sometimes at night, when it’s very quiet, I think I can hear their little fern screams.

This is, I figure, the worst case scenario if my personal grooming continues in a downward descent.

6. A good sense of humor. As I mentioned in our insider’s blog this past week, saying things in a Napoleon Dynamite voice is a good and practical technique I’ve personally found incredibly helpful for getting through each and every day.

Pictured here is Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder). Credit IMDB Photo.
Frequently asked question: Could I imitate a DIFFERENT voice as a helpful technique for getting through my day? Acceptable replacements include:

The little kid from the Indiana Jones Temple of Doom

Rosanne Rosanna Danna (Saturday Night Live – Roseanne Rosannadanna on Smoking)

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2 thoughts on “Work-Life Guide for Crazy Busy Moms

    • Yes. I think a group will need to be developed. Here is my equation for success

      Spanx + Starbucks + Students (all student team for Hot Mommas Project – myself excluded). In winter, add “Self Action Tanning Cream.”

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